🖌️ MISCHA’S MUSINGS: Entry Four — The Cult of Speedpaint (And the Tragedy of Too Many Pouches)

“You don’t need to rush the magic… unless you’re gluing Arm Option 3B onto Leg Variant 7C, in which case: may the Throne have mercy.”

There’s a new dogma rising in the realms of miniature painting—and it moves fast.

Contrast here, drybrush there, boom: done.
Ten models before breakfast. A kill team in 45 minutes. Texture paint slapped down like icing on sad cake. And look—it works, in a certain light. For many, it’s a gift. But for others?

It’s starting to feel like a curse.

⚙️ The Machine Marches On (But the Brush Gets Cramps)

This week I cracked open my first Infinity box. My first TAG. And suddenly I remembered what it felt like to breathe while assembling a model. The pieces fit. The lines were clean. The proportions were true scale, not chibi-chunked for cinematic marketing renders. There were curves. Planes. Negative space.

I could put a brush in there and paint. Actually paint. It felt like being handed a proper violin after months of scraping away on an electric ukulele made of recycled GW sprues.

🧩 Welcome to the Hobby Puzzle From Hell

I also built a Kill Team this week.

It took longer than painting the Infinity model.

Why? Because I needed:

• Legs 3C (Sprue 2, Part 75)

• Torso 2 (Sprue 1, Part 30)

• Arms A, B, and C in reverse order

• Head Option 4 (but only if you’re not using Grenade Arm 6 or Backpack Variant B)

And let’s not forget the nine different pouches, which can’t be rearranged, lest you trigger the Resin Curse of Misalignment.

"I have an advanced degree in dry-fitting and regret."

GW kits now feel like a 3D jigsaw made entirely by committee and marketing briefs. The minis are beautiful in renders, yes—but painting them? That’s a different story. You’re not encouraged to highlight folds or build a moment—you’re encouraged to basecoat, wash, and move on.

💸 Speedpaint Culture and the $530 Box

It’s no coincidence that this shift aligns with ever-rising prices. You’re asked to pay more, assemble more, and then paint faster—because there’s no time to enjoy it anymore. Not with another release coming next week. Not with Saturnine Boxes costing $530 AUD. Not when the next narrative arc will retcon half your effort.

And let’s be real: this isn’t just about hobby pace. It’s about value. Model count is shrinking. Plastic quality is fiddly. Prices are rising. GW’s sculpting style now serves marketing, not painters. The “playable diorama” is dead. Long live the “Instagram-ready silhouette.”

📚 On the Shelf: Nostalgia, Not New Releases

Right now, I’m painting older models. Reading Ravenor and Eisenhorn. Thinking about forgotten chapters—Executioners, Feast of Blades—back when lore was a playground, not a product funnel. I’m painting Krieg horses and Slaaneshi warbands because they speak to me. They have story. Texture. Soul.

Meanwhile, 10th-to-11th edition 40k looms like a bureaucratic daemon prince, rebranded and repackaged for a crowd that’s already wandered off to Trench Crusade, Infinity, One Page Rules, or their own resin printers (coming soon to the Bazaar, I swear—once I can operate one without thumbs).

🎨 Slow Paint is Still Worth It

Let me be clear: contrast paints are tools. Drybrushing is a technique. Speed has its place. But this rush, this churn, this cult of “get it done fast for the content feed”? It’s stripping away the reason many of us started painting in the first place.

We paint to tell stories. To slow down. To build worlds.
Not to hit content quotas.

“If you’re not talking to your model by layer three, what are you even doing?”
— Old Painter Proverb (and possibly Luna)

🐾 Until Next Time...

I’m still painting Warhammer. I’m still taking commissions. But I’m also on a bit of a hobby hiatus from the GW treadmill. The spark’s still here—it’s just burning slower. And that’s okay.

Brush steady, soul louder,
— From the edge of the Bazaar
🐾